Tuesday, July 21, 2009
It is entirely possible to remain an affluent, achieving parent and avoid raising Cornucopia Kids, but it takes a little know-how. Here are seven of the most commonly encountered parental vulnerabilities that lead to loss of parental power and untimately, the inability to parent effectiviely:
Dynamic #1: Giving as a way to avoid confrontation or rejection.
Dynamic #2: Giving "things" as a substitute for time.
Dynamic #3: Giving as a response to marital conflict.
Dynamic #4: Giving as a compensation for childhood deprivation.
Dynamic #5: Giving to compensate for puritanical parenting.
Dynamic#6: Giving as a response to community image needs.
Dynamic #7: To give is easier than to deny.
Certainly not all kids who grow up in middle-class families will become Cornucopia Kids. In fact, effective parenting , combined with the opportunity afforded by relative affluence can be a very positive effect on childrens' life skills. At all ages, Cornucopia Kids exhibit a pattern of behavior characteristics that together define this very maladaptive style of relating to work, to others and to life in general. Here are ten signs to look for.
Characterisitic #1: Your child demands only the best.
Characterisitic #2: A high need for constant stimulation is present.
Characterisitc #3: There is a consistent pattern of incompletion.
Characterisitc #4: There is a deep need for acceptance by others.
Characterisitc #5: The capacity for compassion is underdeveloped.
Characterisitc #6: A clear contempt for material things.
Characterisitc #7: Self-indulgences and excess are behavior themes.
Characterisitc #8: You see an all-to-easy deceitfulness.
Characterisitc #9: Problems with performance.
Characterisitc #10: There is a strong 'present' orientation.
No matter what their age, now is the time to begin Mastery Motivation in all your children. Healthy parenting values are perhaps the strongest possible way to do that. Here are 10 suggestions to help you instill Mastery Motivation in your children.
Motivator #1: Give your child regular work responsibilities.
Motivator #2: Refrain from giving your child so many 'freebies'.
Motivator #3: Severely limit television viewing, especially any violence.
Motivator #4: Give your child sensitivity training.
Motivator #5: Insist on completion as a personal value.
Motivator #6: Help your child deal adaptively with failure.
Motivator #7: Legitimize personal values over conformity.
Motivator #8: Make your child personally accountable.
Motivator #9: Engage your child in cooperative projects.
Motivator #10: Create clear boundaries for work.
"Character is destiny." As a responsible parent, it is your mandate to instill integrity instead of indulgence; to create character, not conformity; to build motivation rather than materialism; to demand sensitivity in lieu of selfishness. Through that process, you will grow in wisdom and your child will grow in maturity.
Bruce Baldwin, " Giving Children Too Much May be Giving Too Little"