I've always thought and said that the toddler years are just a dress rehearsal for the "real thing": teenhood. So, together with your partner consider a solid policy of growing a child.
Here are "The Ten Beliefs" that are a quick ,healthy policy to follow. I used to give this to the parents of my high school students.
1.Family problems have roots and supports in the culture.
2.Parents are people too.
3.Parents' material and emotional resources are limited.
4.Parents and kids are not equal.
5.Blaming keeps people helpless.
6. Kids' behavior affects parents. Parents behavior affects kids.
7. Taking a stand precipitates a crisis.
8. From controlled crisis comes the possibility of positive change.
9. Families need to give and get support in their community in order to change.
The essence of family life is cooperation, not togetherness.
The next time I write I will give the rest of this material.
Hopefully, my newest grandson will be born by then. He will be my sixth grandchild. How fortunate am I?