Crying and Swim Lessons

Parents often ask us "how much crying is normal in swim lessons?" The answer? There is no "normal" in swim lessons! While watching your child cry can be torture for any parent, we all know  a tearless childhood is impossible not to mention unnatural.

Crying is actually a good, healthy and normal human response. Infant cries act as alarms for parents, alerting them to pain, hunger, or discomfort. In general, a feeding/burping, diaper change or a good nap can comfort an infant's cries.

As children grow and develop crying also becomes a form of emotional communication. It's important for parents and teachers to identify why the child is crying in order to find a solution for the tears. At LPB we train our teachers to identify these types of crying:

• Fear: Clinging to the teacher, island or side of the pool, shaking, can sometimes be silent/no tears
• Separation anxiety: Reaching for, crying for caregiver
• Anger: Hitting, splashing, kicking, yelling or other aggressive behavior
• Pain/Discomfort: Water in the nose, grabbing nose, pulling nose, crying immediately after submerging
• Tired/Hungry: Lethargic, clingy, steady cry, yawning, etc...

Once we've identified the cause (or causes) of the crying, we work together with the Deck Support and caregiver and come up with a plan of action. For example:

• A fearful student needs to gain his instructors trust. We can put in an extra teacher to allow the fearful student extra one on one time with his teacher to help emphasise that the student is safe.  Lots of promises are made and kept here, "We're going to kick in the tube now, and I won't let go". No tricks allowed, just bonding.
• Students suffering from separation anxiety also need to form a trusting bond with their teacher. An extra teacher may get in, or we may play let's make a deal: "If you stop crying, mommy can stay on the deck. But if you're crying mommy has to go to the viewing room". The idea here is that the students' emotions can be distracting when the caregiver is nearby, making it difficult for them to build trust with their teacher.  Again, no tricks here....as soon as you stop crying, mommy comes right back out.
• Then there are the students who are just plain angry! This wasn't their idea, they don't like it and they're gonna let us know. We see this every so often; these students have passion, determination and the ability to express themselves (not surprisingly, they often turn out to be our most confident, strong swimmers). Teachers are trained to avoid power struggles with these angry students, and to continue sending the message that they are OK and it's time to swim.
• Pain or discomfort is most commonly caused by water in the nose. At LPB we use all types of tools and methods to avoid this because... it hurts! We use "nose huggers", snorkel masks and teach "Balloon Faces" to help seal off the sinuses and prevent water in the nose.
• Sometimes students may cry simply because they're tired or hungry. In these cases we discuss the possibility of adjusting class time to accommodate nap or feeding schedules. Sometimes it's just a one off situation...like being too tired after spending a week in Disneyland for example. 

While crying for months on end is not common, we typically see a decrease in crying after about 4 weeks of consistent attendance. Even if it means your child didn't cry the last 5 minutes of class, that's something to celebrate!

Teamwork between LPB staff and the parents/caretakers is crucial in getting these students over the hump. Children need their parents to be guiding beacons in times of uncertainty. Here's what we ask from YOU:

• Arrive to class 10-15 minutes early: Rushing in the door in a panic doesn't help calm an anxious student. Watch the other students swimming and point out what fun they're having in their class!
• Consistent attendance: Coming to class each week sends a message to your child that "you are OK". Inconsistency sends them a message that swimming isn't important or safe. 
• Talk it up! Be sure to use positive language when talking about swimming around your child. It won't help them to hear you tell another parent "Johnny is freaked out about swimming". Instead try, "Johnny is being very brave at swim class, each week he's having more and more fun with Teacher Anya".
• Be the cheerleader: After swim class, point out a specific thing you saw your child do that was fun, successful, brave, etc... For example, "I was really proud of you for giving Teacher Anya a hug at the end of class....isn't she nice?". Or, "I saw you make a big splash when you were playing on the magic carpet!"
• Family Swim: Take advantage of our FREE Family Swim times offered several times a week at all 4 locations. You can attend any Family Swim at any location. Swimming in a more casual setting can help students acclimate to the environment. This also sends the message that you are on board with swimming in general. 

So, why stick with it? Why not just quit, take a break or wait until your child is older? Because drowning is the #1 cause of accidental death for children under the age of 5 in California. For more on this, please read last week's entry below. Not every child needs to learn how to play the piano, but every child needs to learn how to swim.

Happy Splashing!

Drowning: The Real Risk

Imagine you're getting ready to come home from the hospital and you don't have your infant car seat. You just haven't gotten around to it. Maybe you'll get one when baby turns 3. No biggie, just hold your baby on your lap, or strap them into a seat belt, right? 

This is obviously absurd (not to mention illegal). Parents today are well aware of the importance of car seat safety, in fact many of us consider ourselves "die hard" on the issue. My sister (mother of 6) is known for doing safety checks on her friends car seats...ripping them out of their cars and reinstalling them herself. She prides herself on making sure that if you try to wiggle the car seat, the entire car should shake -- not the car seat itself. We're all just keeping our children safe, you know just "in case".

While parents are "die hard" on the issue of car seat safety, many are "missing the boat" on an even bigger threat to saving their child's life: water safety.

Drowning is the #1 cause of accidental death for children under the age of 5 in the US. 

That's right. Believe it or not, your child has a greater risk of drowning than they do of dying in a car accident.  "But we live in an urban city..." you say "...we don't own a swimming pool, so there's no real risk." This is like saying you don't need a car seat for your child because "We're safe drivers". 

Children drown everyday in all different bodies of water: buckets, toilets, bath tubs, fountains, koi ponds, hot tubs, etc. I myself have witnessed first hand a child falling head first into a fountain at a shopping mall. Another devastating example of this is when a local toddler drowned in a fountain in downtown San Francisco, with dozens of adults including a nanny and parent in the vicinity (click here for article). 

Accidents happen...car accidents, drowning accidents, fires, you name it. But the greatest risk of them all is drowning (click here for CDC report).

Formal swim lessons can reduce the risk of drowning up to 88%, according to the CDC.

What can you do as a parent to help protect your child from drowning? At La Petite Baleen we promote the Safer 3:

• Safer Kids: Safer Kids covers the behaviors necessary for both kids and parents to promote water safety. These water safety tips include constant responsible supervision by adults, along with swimming skills attained through ongoing qualified instruction for kids.
• Safer Water: Safer Water means identifying where the risks are with any body of water (bathtubs, pools, spas, lakes, rivers or oceans) and learning how to reduce those risks. For example installing barriers such as isolation fencing around a backyard pool would reduce the risk of unauthorized access to the pool by young children.
• Safer Response: Safer Response overviews emergency response techniques and emergency action plans as a path to water safety. Learning cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and first aid, as well as having a phone by the pool at all times, are just a few of the water safety tips covered here.

Often times we hear parents say, "He's just not ready for swim lessons yet" or "He cried in class so we'll just wait until he's older". Our response to that is, what do you do when your child protests being strapped into his car seat? We've all been there...you know the back arching, kicking and screaming fit that often ensues when a toddler doesn't want to be strapped in. What's your response to this as a parent? "Oh, we'll just let him bounce around the back seat until he's older"? I think not. 

The same attitude must apply when it comes to swim lessons. Here at LPB we specialize in making swim lessons and safety fun. We use games, songs and LOTS of toys to distract our young students. Before you know it, they're happily swimming. While it sometimes involves some tears and protest, the payoff is priceless when it comes to your child's safety. 

That's right, swim lessons are just as important as buckling your child into a car seat. 

Now, we're not claiming that swim lessons alone will prevent your child from drowning. Just like carseats cannot prevent your child from being in a car accident, swim lessons are a layer of protection in preventing a drowning. Again, the principles of the Safer 3 must be put into place to eliminate risk of drowning.

Each May, we host our annual "Summer Safety Week" where we educate parents and students on the risks of drowning. We discuss different bodies of water, give safety reminders, discuss barriers with parents and rules with students. For more on our summer safety week, click here.

Together with our community, we must commit to making our children safer around water. It starts with you, the parent. Make the right decision when it comes to your child's safety, enroll in lessons today.