Whale Wisdom

A Good Start

2012-02-22T19:47:00.007-08:00

We are getting a lot of new swimmers here at LPB this New Year. Lots of new babies and pre-schoolers who have never had lessons before. I just opened a new shift that I teach here in Half Moon Bay on Thursday mornings. With that are what we call "Novice" students who might be uncomfortable in the water or even having water touch them. While we keep our water at 90 degrees, our pool is like a giant bath tub, kids still sometimes need some help 'navigating' themselves into a comfortable time at swim lessons. I do however love picking up a fearful student and bringing them down into the warm water see that first hurdle of their body relaxing with the warmth. Like they thought their mom was throwing them into the Pacific Ocean, their lips blue and quivering. Not in my pool! Nice and toasty so those nervous muscles can relax and we can begin building trust.

Step 1 for the teacher is to build trust with the student. Are you sensing when the child gets nervous? Do they need a little more touching and holding while they learn to balance in that inner tube or even on the stairs? Once I have that relationship with them through body talk as well as my reassuring voice, then I can begin swim skills. Little baby steps for some.

And here's where you the parents come in. What you do at home even before swim lessons can make a huge difference. I have had 4 year olds come to swimming and never even taken a shower before. Only baths. Well, time to expand the comfort zone and save some water at the same time.

Here is what I tell my new parents with new students:

Get their face wet. Shower instead of bathe them. Let them have special toys to play with while the water runs down their body and face. Take them in the shower with you. We want them to get used to the feeling of water on their ears, nose, eyes and hair. Desensitize them in a way. This can help your swim teacher move forward on into swimming sooner. Teaching a toddler or pre-schooler to hold their breath and put their face in the water is one of the trickiest parts of lessons. Water in the ears doesn't hurt and plain water in the eyes doesn't hurt either. I tell my kids when they feel water in their ears that it tickles.

Ever get water in your nose? Yah, it kills and burns. That is why it's important to start learning how to hold their breath (we do have nose clips for nose sniffers). At LPB we don't blow bubbles. Most parents come to lessons doing that with the kids. We want our kids to learn to hold their breath under water, not blow it out. So we ask and show them a 'balloon face'. Puffing out the cheeks with the mouth closed. There we go, a Rainbow Ribbon skill! Once a child does a balloon face out of the water then we work on putting it in the water. But even before that, we do some play showering. We have many little watering cans around our pool and we play with gently pouring water over their balloon face. Then we tell them to blow like a whale. They love it. Whale blows. Parents, you can easily do this at home in the bath and shower.

This is the start of swimming. Getting that face wet. Getting them comfortable with water all over their face, ears and eyes. Practice the balloon faces and whale blows. This 'homework' will be so helpful to your teacher when you come in to lessons. Knowing that you are helping us during the week between classes, I bet your teacher will be able to tell if you have done your homework. I know I can. All of a sudden a student will come in and can do something they struggled with last week. I look up at mom and say, "Oh, someone has been practicing!" Mom nods and beams. Her "Little Whale" is off to a great start!

Please go to our website for more ribbon level "HOMEWORK"

Wiggle Butts

2012-02-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

WHAT are Wiggle Butts?

La Petite Baleen uses kid jargon to make swimming fun. One of the first cute sayings that Irene and John Kolbisen came up with when they started La Petite Baleen 33 years ago was Wiggle Butts. Well to make it easier on you adults and since it already makes sense to most of our little kids, I will let you in on what exactly they are. Wiggle Butts are Dolphin Kicks. Yes, the same kicks that you see Michael Phelps doing off each flip turn in his races. And yes, your kids are swimming like Phelps:)

Coaches have learned that the underwater dolphin kick proves to be faster than any other propulsion for a human through the water. Of course here we are, mammals mimicking mammals. We are swimming like a dolphin. Wiggle Butts are taught at LPB during the purple ribbon. We are looking for a rhythm with these kicks that keeps going even when the child comes up for a quick breath. Ultimately we would like them to not use their hands at all. This will turn into our gold ribbon skill of under water, streamline wiggle butts (exactly what Phelps does).

Wiggle Butts are playful. Irene even named her first children's book Wiggle Butts and Upfaces; our 2 most important and fun skills here at LPB. When I teach Wiggle Butts, I am often teaching kids age 4 and up, sometimes younger. We love to pretend to be dolphins but especially mermaids.

"Do you want to be a mermaid or a merman today?" I ask. I know Lara announces she's Ariel, Paige just beams and says she's a mermaid (wiggle butts are her favorite), and I know Sofia will want to be a dolphin. It's the same every week. But I ask, and we fall into the world of make believe. I even throw some goggles on and off we go if even for a couple of laps. My kids in class get wide eyed when they see me being a mermaid.

"What? If you're Ariel, I'm Melody." I tell them. The girls giggle.

My 3 year old has been doing wiggle butts for about a year. She realized it takes less effort with the fishtail fins she wears. And boy is it cute. Parents, have fun swimming with your kids. Let them teach you Wiggle Butts. Don't feel bad if they can undulate better than you. "Unda" in latin means 'wave'. And that is exactly what your body should be doing. Making a wave through the water, undulating. I tell my older kids that latin trivia. I send them home with homework to tell their parents what latin for wave means and why it's important for doplin kicks and wiggle butts.

I am finishing off this post with a video link to Michael Phelps doing a flip turn with stream line dolphin kicks (Wiggle Butts).

And also a link to what our Wiggle Butts at LPB look like for Gold Ribbon.

Book recommendation

2012-01-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I have added another book to my book recommended list. A new one that I recently read has spoken to me in so many ways and moved me to improve my parenting that I wanted to share it with you all. Give Them Grace, Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse m. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. This mother daughter pair share their wisdom on parenting with an emphasis on showing your children grace through the model of Christ. While this is a christian book, every parent will enjoy the themes presented here. Can't we all show our children more grace and the love that brings?

Personally this book spoke to me. My husband and I run a tight ship. We expect obedience the first time we ask, respect for authority and independence. I would say it's easy for us to be pretty black and white with expectations and consequences. Discipline in our home is not a problem, it comes easy to us. Grace is something we don't deserve, unmerited favor. This is what God's free gift is.

Yet, I needed to hear the message of this book. I need to learn to infuse grace in my interactions with my children. Isn't that what God shows me? Why would I accept God's grace but withhold it from my kids. Boy, that isn't showing them the love of Christ.

The most poignant story for me in this book was in chapter 4, 'Jesus Loves All His Little Prodigals'. The authors tell a story of 2 siblings, David and Susan. Susan is the older "good girl" and David is the younger one who cheats at games. The mom in the story is addressing Susan's frustration with her brother; "Yes, Susan, David should follow the rules of the game. But the rules are not the most important thing.....Mercy is more important than the law." She goes on to say, "We are all law-breaking-rule haters when it comes to doing something we want to do. David breaks the rules by cheating, you break the rules by screaming at him, and I break the rules by wanting peace and quiet....None of us keeps the rules or loves each other like we should....What matters is faith expressed in love." She goes in to explain more fully the gift of grace through Christ. This really hit home for me. I am more like Susan. I play by the rules, I don't cheat. I'm a "good person". But there really is no good enough. Susan was just as guilty for being mean. It was obvious that David was naughty but Susan's anger and frustration grew to a prideful head.

Give Them Grace has softened my heart in times when I want to yell or lose it with my kids. Case in point: my daughter dropped her retainer this week onto the street where it was promptly run over by a car and shattered into smithereens. Definitely a time to show her grace. My adult parent side wanted to yell and ridicule her for her carelessness. What an expensive mistake! But looking into her eyes, grace flowed out, "Channing, I am upset it happened but I am not upset at you. I am not mad at you, I love you....and Daddy won't be too mad:)". This book reminds me to slow down and think about what message my response will send. There are some conversation templates in the books that are helpful if this does not come naturally to you

Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, this message is for everybody. Infusing grace into your parenting is wonderful and hard. This book is deep. It challenges me daily to show more grace to my children, husband, and parents. I challenge all of you to read this book and gleam from it what you can. Enjoy!

"I thought parenting was going to portray my strengths, never realizing God had ordained it to reveal my weaknesses."

-Dave Harvey

Fins as a learning tool

2012-01-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Why we use fins.

Last post I talked about why La Petite Baleen uses goggles in their classes. This post is about why we use fins. It's very likely your child has used them here if they have swam with us. The fins we use are amazing for babies. We have 3 types of fins we use:

Our "Fishtail" fins, made by Finis are the most common ones you will see. We keep them in baskets all around the pool and put them on all children age 1 to 5. They are blue and triangular. It doesn't take much movement from these fins to provide motivating feedback. Even toddlers can really propel themselves with these fins. Because LPB teaches swimming from a developmental perspective, we focus on rhythmic breathing first, before any stroke introduction. That is why we have always said that our Blue Ribbon is the most important (5 good upfaces with breath exchange). Toddler and small children are proportionally much different than adults in the size of their head. A toddler's head takes up approximately 25% of their body length vs. 12.5% for an adult. Given a small child's lesser gross motor skills, it is challenging to physically come up, exchange air, submerge back down while moving forward. At LPB you will frequently see pre-school age as well as toddlers doing these perfect upfaces. The fins help them to not only remain horizontal but also to lift theirhead to exchange air.
I love these fins! We put them on our toddlers around age 1. Babies tend to 'kick' with sort of a bicycle kick that mimics crawling. But the design of these fins allow for pretty much any kind of leg movement through the water and the child will motivate pretty well. The feedback, maintaining a horizontal body position and the strength it gives our littlest swimmers is wonderful.

Zoomer fins, also made by Finis. I am a big fan of our miniature "zoomer" fins. They look like regular small racing fins but the whole top is cut off making them short and stiff. I use these fins on my students soon after their Red Ribbon is achieved. It's time to start manipulating those 'bicycle'/crawling kicks to a flatter 'flutter' kick that uses their hip flexors. I start my kids who are beginning stroke layers with these fins to get the proper foundation in their kick. Without a kick initiated and moved from the hip flexors, the strokes will not be strong, supported or even legal! These are especially useful when kicking on their back in the "superman" or kickboard over the head position. If they can achieve a great kick on their back with these fins without the use of their arms then they are ready to learn backstroke and freestyle.

Racing Fins are the standard fins you would see on a swim team. They are long and floppy. I will use these on children who can swim strokes and have the proper kick but might need more speed. I especially use them for butterfly. I am careful not to use them on kids who have a natural frog kick because even these big fins can give them improper feedback. No using fins with breastroke! Teachers need to keep an eye on the use of these fins to make sure good form is used. But boy is it fun to see the kids do their wiggle butts with these on! Girls really think they're Ariel and boys love to race.

We like to travel with the Fishtail Fins. Our kids are stronger and more comfortable with them on when they are little. They are easy to pack. People often comment and ask where we got our fins. It would be a great investment, if you swim often enough away from LPB, to purchase your own pair if your child uses them in swim class. What a great opportunity to have fun and see what they can do.

Monkey See Monkey Do

2011-12-16T21:13:00.001-08:00

Why do we use goggles?

La Petite Baleen uses goggles in our swim lessons and we are often asked why. We even have our tiny babies wearing goggles.

There are a handful of reasons why we want our swimmers to wear goggles while at the same time, it doesn't make or break a swimmer.

Balance. Probably the most important reason we encourage our swimmers, even the littlest babies to wear goggles is because it gives them visual feedback. Doctors would call this peripheral vestibular information. Boy is this a big one for development! Not only does swimming use both sides of the brain mimicking the crawling motion but gives this neuro-visual stimulation through goggles. Of course they can see better therefore balance better with them on in the water.

Protection. While it is safe to swim in our pools without goggles, it certainly is more comfortable to wear goggles and keep the chlorine out of their eyes. Eyes are very sensitive. Most of us adults have experienced red burning eyes from too much swimming underwater without goggles. No one wants to see their baby red eyed and crying after swim class.

Fun! Looking underwater at toys and for direction (swimming into stairs) gives the child a sense of accomplishment and independence. This is what we are looking for with the green ribbon. The child swims by themselves to an island or stairs, a good 5 -6 feet with paddle arms. Being able to focus and zone in on a landing spot underwater is supported by goggles.

I prefer my baby and toddler classes to wear goggles. I start putting them on them before they can even reach up and take them off. In the beginning, this might disturb their wonderful submersions, causing them to "blame" the goggles. They come up coughing and ripping the goggles off. I keep putting them on though. Most parents are supportive of my efforts and back me up. I'm OK being the "bad guy" when it comes to goggles. I just keep putting them on! Around age 1, however, many babies reach what I call the goggle anarchy stage. They start taking them off. Goggles seem to slow them down because they are busy taking off with their kicking and paddling. With the parents support, we do push past this time and the light bulb seems to turn on one day when they spot a ring on the bottom of the pool! Then they just want to keep their face underwater non stop.

"But why does LPB have a 'no goggle swim' for the white ribbon?" You may ask. While goggles are amazing and we encourage all parents to use them, the white ribbon encompasses many safety skills. We want children to know it's OK to swim without them, they can still do all the skills they know in the pool without goggles on. Some kids (older than toddler age) panic without their goggles on. So LPB purposely built in to our ribbon level swimming with confidence without goggles. If an LPB student falls or gets knocked into a pool, we want them to swim to a wall and climb out.

So parents, we want your children to benefit from goggles, not be frozen without them. The ones we use at our schools are specially designed for children's small faces. They fit babies well too. I would encourage you to buy a pair. Use them at home in the bathtub while you do some "swimming homework". Some parents have reported putting them on their kids, lathering up with shampoo and rinsing underwater with no worries about soap in the eyes. While we want kids to be comfortable with water in their face and eyes, this is a clever way to also get them used to and liking goggles.

This post is dedicated to my little 12 month old swimmer Zoe who fights me every week with the goggles. I love her spirit!

Sub-mersion

2011-11-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

"Teacher Shannon will be subbing for Teacher Dana today". The sign reads on the door as you walk into swim lessons. What goes through your mind as a mom? "Oh man, here we go again, she's not going to get in with a teacher she doesn't know." Or, "Cool a new teacher!" How you respond to a substitute teacher can help or hinder your child with new situations and new people.

I admit, I feel a pang of frustration when I walk in and see our teacher isn't there in the pool. My kids LOVE their teachers and so do I. Swimming is very intimate and develops a trusting relationship between teacher and child. But my kids have had some of their best lessons with subs! They show off, they play more or they listen more!

Some parents I have over heard talk to their 3 year old like this: "Now Nancy, teacher Dyan isn't here today cause she's sick, is it OK if you swim with teacher Chelsea instead?? She's really nice. Look, she's right there." Seriously. Asking a 3 year old permission is not OK. Parents need to set the tone and make the decisions with regard to swim lessons. This is about safety as much as about fun.

I've heard other parents say to their kids, "Kacey, check it out a new teacher. Tell her what your favorite thing to do in class is." My favorite is watching teacher Shannon smile at the kids and say, "I'm teacher Arlette today, don't I look like her?" This gets even the youngest kids laughing...the silliness.

There are those times where some kids who are sensitive just can't deal with a sub. A common problem is usually girls sometimes have a hard time with boy substitute teachers. Poor Teacher Vince. The boys are loving his energy but the girls are often turned off by his boisterous volume.

Parents, my message here is: You can help us out by being up beat and supportive even when you are discouraged about having a substitute teacher. Our kids absorb so much of our mood and can take that with them into the pool. Here at LPB we only get your kids for 30 minutes a week and would love for it to be enjoyable and full of learning.

As a teacher, I don't like missing my classes at all. I love my students but sometimes we are on vacation. La Petite Baleen strives to get consistent loving teachers that are committed to your child and their attendance. This is a learning environment where we like to mix structure with flexibility. Parents, you are our best allies and your child's best allies. See you at the pool!

Swimming with an ear infection?

2011-11-06T15:16:00.000-08:00

Here at La Petite Baleen we specialize in babies under the age of 2. Parents often ask us if their baby can swim if they have an ear infection. Our answer to that is YES!

An ear infection is the swelling and infection in the "inner ear". It can be painful but sometimes a parent does not know their child has one until the Dr. looks in there and say, "Hey, did you know he has an ear infection?" Because your inner ear is protected by your ear drum, water cannot get in and make worse an infection. The exception to that is if they have a perforated ear drum. A perforated ear drum is extremely painful and can be diagnosed by your pediatrician. But for a regular ear infection, your baby can continue to swim. In an older child with an ear infection, I would not want them to go diving for rings past 4 ft. deep simply from the pressure that can cause discomfort.

An infection of the outer ear, also called "Swimmers Ear", is very painful and seen in older children and adults. Even a slight tug on the ear cause much pain and it is often difficult to even sleep on a pillow from the pain. You can also swim with swimmers ear. Caution must be taken to properly dry out the ear after swimming and bathing. I like to use a mixture of rubbing alcohol and distilled vinegar, let it sit in my ear for 60 seconds and flip my head over and let it drain out. My husband likes to blow the blowdryer on his ear to really dry it out.

Keep an eye out for inner ear infections in your babies if they often have congestion or colds. But know that coming to swimming will help them feel better if they are not too lethargic. I love swimming with my baby when he has a cold, the warm moist air often cleans him out and he can rest calmly afterwards. So be encouraged that your children CAN swim with an ear infection. Ask your pediatrician if you don't believe me:)

Sensory Swimming

2011-09-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

Children often come to swim lessons with a wide range of skills. Because we specialize in younger kids, we get the major gross motor skill (large body movements, crawling, running, climbing) growth patterns right at our door. Children from birth until age four have the largest growth in gross motor skills. I was just recently talking to a mom nursing her 2 month old while I sat playing with my 10 month old who is scaling counters, climbing up and down my stairs on his own as well as cruising. I just looked at her and said, can you believe your baby will be doing this is only 8 months. She just shook her head in disbelief. It's amazing what babies, toddlers and preschool age children are capable of and the rate of growth they experience. After age 4, their fine motor skills start to take over the speedy rate of development which coincides with writing skills, coloring in the lines, etc. While your gross motor skills are still developing, they don't improve at the same rate.

This is why any swim teacher will tell you physically it is easier to teacher a younger child/baby to swim. Their gross motor skills are still fluid. I can actually sense and feel how a child is reacting in the water simply by touching them. Are they scared, struggling, tense, relaxed. I have a toddler in my class right now who is an excellent swimmer. He just turned two. He likes to go under water, float, look around and simply float there. His mom gets nervous and picks him up to breath. I am teaching her how to let him experiment, roll around and blow bubbles. He thinks it is hilarious. I tell the mom, "You will know when he is running out of air, his body movements will change and get rigid or he might start kicking and paddling like crazy." This boy doesn't need me to teach him. He is teaching himself through his self exploration and experimenting. It's Mommy I'm teaching to support that kind of play and fun in the water.

We get many kids with physical delays as well as sensory issues. Swimming is used in therapy all over the world but especially with children. Water is 30 times more pressure on the body than air. This can either provide resistance or assistance as well as some pretty awesome feedback. I have a little girl in lessons right now who had some physical as well as verbal delays. She came in at 4 yet walked like she was 2. After 6 weeks in lessons, she noticeably had smoother movements in and out of the water. She was using bi-lateral movements with her arms as well as upper body strength climbing out of the pool and balance of her whole body. I get so much joy and fulfillment from teaching children like this. Seeing their marked improvement is so uplifting and encouraging.

Sensory issues come up often too. Kids who rip off the goggles and can't have anything on their face. Some kids can't wear the fins, let alone shoes their moms say. I get to support the parents in introducing these things to their kids and slowly trying to release or at least get them used to some of the stimuli. When we give out ribbons here at La Petite Baleen, we ring a large bell and cheer. Sometimes some kids are triggered with unexpected and loud sounds and shut down, not even wanting their ribbon. Or here in Half Moon bay, our slide can be so much fun as an end of class activity. Kids with sensory issues often would rather climb to the top themselves, having pressure on their feet than be lifted to the halfway slide and be free feeling in the air. Some kids need that pressure on their feet to feel stable.

I just love bringing swimming to all kids. I have seen it benefit kids with autism, sensory and physical delays. My dad once even taught a girl with no arms and legs to swim. That was special and amazing to watch. But I will never forget it. Any child can swim and benefit from the therapeutic as well as multi sensory, skill building wonderment it is. I just love teaching these babies and children. What a wonderful job this is!

Breaking the Entitlement Cycle

2011-08-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

I recently read this wonderful article in M: for the woman in every mom magazine here on the peninsula. I loved this article so much I called the author Jennifer Rhodes and asked her if I could post it on our blog. She and I had a wonderful chat and she gave me permission to post it here. I especially liked her reference to the 'self esteem' movement and how the repercussions of that style of parenting are morphing into the entitlement parenting and how these children are faring once in and out of college. Thank you Jennifer for a great article and for your insight as a professional that works with children and families.

Breaking the Entitlement Cycle

by Jennifer Rhodes, Psy.D.

Maggie comes home from school and says she needs a cell phone.

But she doesn't want just any cell phone-it has to be an iPhone 4.

After all, she's in fourth grade and all of her friends have one. Maggie

is relentless. She wants a phone. She needs a phone. Over the

course of a month, Maggie does not miss an opportunity to inform

her parents of how unfair they arc being by not giving her one.

Matthew is a second grader who is crazy about sports. He does

well, maybe even a bit better than other kids in his peer group, but

he struggles with sportsmanship and boasts that he is "clearly the

best." While sports come more easily than other things to Matthew,

he struggles when his coach pushes him to expand his skills. Rather

than seeing an opportunity, he gives up or blames others for the

failure. In Cub Scouts, when he doesn't win the pinewood derby,

he is devastated and yells, "It's not fair the track must be broken!"

Jenna is a college freshman. All through elementary, junior high

and high school, she got her schoolwork done on time, participated

in multiple sports and extracurricular activities. But away

from home, she can't handle the stress of having to choose her own

classes, make her own schedule and structure her own time. Her

parents or her counselors had always given her deadlines, helped

her choose her activities, and followed through to make sure things

in her life were done. Now in college, she is anxious and stressed

out because the pressure is too much for her to handle on her own,

and for the first time in her life, her grades begin to slip.

As parents, we hear a lot about entitlement. Here in Silicon Valley,

where the accumulation of wealth or the perceived accumulation of

wealth surrounds us, it feels especially noticeable. While the notion

of entitlement is often thought to be related to wealth, it is actually

an attitude and a way to perceive oneself ("I expect to receive ... ")

and can be influenced by how we parent, with or without great

amounts of money. Entitlement is not simply buying a child too

many things. It is a process of parenting that promotes giving children

too much, too soon or doing things for children that they can

do for themselves. The consequences are often that children experience

a false sense of self-esteem, an expectation of life being "easy"

and/or an insatiable need to be validated by others. The danger is

that these children can fall apart later in life when they realize that

they may not be as fabulous-smart-talented as they have been told

all their lives.

Entitled parenting interrupts a child's normal development

including learning the skills to help cope with disappointment

and developing the ability to accurately assess one's own strengths

and weaknesses. Kids who do not develop these skills later have

difficulty understanding how to cope with everyday srtessors and

using their knowledge to make healthy personal decisions. Entitled

children often have difficulty learning that all people have weaknesses

and no one is perfect.

Entitled parenting has been greatly influenced by the self-esteem

movement over the past 20 years. This movement sought to use a

strength-based approach to promote the healthy development of

children. But it has largely been misinterpreted by well-meaning

professionals and parents. Kids no longer keep score while playing

tee-ball for fear that the competition is harmful. Every child

in a classroom now receives a gold star whether they earned the

star or not out of fear that someone's feelings may be hurt. The

consequence of the idea that everyone is equal regardless of his

individual achievements is that our culture has started to interfere

with a child's natural and evolving understanding of his abilities

and strengths. Without this skill, children do not develop adequate

coping skills that may help them later in life.

Providing children with material possessions, even with the good

intention of trying to make them feel better, fuels the sense of

entitlement and does little to help their self-esteem. Giving in to

a child's desire to be like everyone else and have the same things

as his friends may seem like a good idea, especially to protect him

from being the only one who doesn't have something. But it actually

can teach a child that working for something or earning something

is not necessary to getting what he wants. That can become

dangerous when it comes time to be an adult and the hand-outs

from employers do not exist

Trying to raise a child in Silicon Valley can be tough-not only

because of the academic pressures and the current economy, but

because of the wide diversity of social pressures as well. Even if

you feel that you are doing your best to ground your child with

the understanding that certain privileges should be earned, how do

you help your child cope with the peer pressure that other entitled

children and their families promulgate?

1. Work on your relationship with your child. Provide age appropriate

structure, limits and boundaries. When your child

is young, work on building a solid foundation of trust and

responsiveness in order to help your child cope with stress and

disappointment. For school-age children, work on increasing

impulse control and a sense of responsibility. For teenagers,

promote age-appropriate money management skills and

encouraging them to volunteer or take on other work-related

activities. These strategies will help you develop a better

ability to understand your child and lead to a happier and

healthier relationship, which is the foundation for a healthy

and successful child.

Matthew's parents, for example, could help him build a true sense

of himself by praising him for participating in the sport and his

sportsmanship, not just for winning. They could talk about other

ways to help out and to work as a team member, such as with setup,

clean-up or uniforms, so that he can see that being involved

as part of a team is not only about winning or losing-it is about

responsibility to other peers as well.

2. Promote age-appropriate autonomy by avoiding doing too

many things that your child may be able to do for himself. For

example, over-scheduling your child for after-school activities

will not teach your child how to manage his time. Instead,

weigh the pros and cons of different activities or determine

which activities he likes best. For example, if your 8-yearold

is engaged in too many after-school activities without

any thought or input (because you have made the choice), it

becomes more difficult in high school for him to prioritize

activities and make appropriate scheduling choices.

Jenna could have benefitted from her parents allowing her to make

some choices about classes and activities while in junior high and

high school so that her transition to college would not have been so

fraught with anxiety. Choices teach valuable skills in decision making,

prioritization and coping with frustration.

3. Understand that your child's questions, concerns or demands

about how he differs from his peers in terms of dress or

other material things is not only a typical part of your child's

development; it is an opening for a more important conversation:

What are your family values? How are these values the

same or different from other families? How did you earn the

nice things in your home? How do you define success? Maggie's

parents could tell her that her family believes children don't

need a smart phone of their own until 8th grade. It is their

family rule. When she keeps asking for one, they have a firm

answer that promotes their values and teaches Maggie that

privileges increase as children are able to handle more responsibility

By having an open conversation with your child about the differences

he notices and what your rules and boundaries are, you will

not only prepare your child to cope with entitled children and

families, bur will also promote his success in the world by building

his social competence. If successful, your child will easily transition

to college while the entitled children will be struggling to come to

terms with the meaning of hard work, dedication, and reward.

Dr. Rhodes is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Menlo Park and San Francisco. She specializes in working with issues related to divorce, entitlement and relationships between parents and their children. Dr. Rhodes also maintains a psychotherapy and assessment practice for children and adolescents. She can be reached at 415.509.5616 or at drjenniferrhodes@gmail.com.

Let's get creative!

2011-07-08T19:44:00.001-07:00

I'm usually a very structured teacher when I am teaching my swim lessons. My kids know what to expect, and for the most part, I follow the same lesson plan with slight variations. Of course I am always pushing my swimmers to their limits and have an eye for fine tuning. I can be fairly picky about how and when I give out ribbons. For example, their side breathing on freestyle or "big arms" needs to include rotation of their body on the long axis. Or for upfaces, I need their breath to be close to perfect and for them to have the confidence that comes with the blue ribbon.

So while most kids thrive in my structured environment, it's nice to break out of that mold once in a while. Sometimes I have surprised my students and told them to go walk to the slide to start off the class (in our Half Moon Bay pool). "We are doing a backwards class!" I tell them. Their eyes get really big and they kind of stand there staring at me. "Has she lost her mind, where's my teacher Liesl?" Hehe. I love throwing them for a loop and mixing it up a bit. We have so much fun.
During my swim shift on Tuesday morning, I have a gold ribbon class full of home schooled 10 year olds. I have to give credit to my swimmer Jonathan for his silliness. It's because of his playful distractions that I got my most recent creative ideas. So here's what went down. During our class, floaties often come into our lane, pushed in by the Toddler class next to us. Jonathan is very playful and picked up 3 of the floaties and put them on his arms. "Take off the floaties, it's time for underwater sw....... Hmmm, never mind. You want to see what it's like to do an underwater swim with the floaties on?" We often swim with the racing fins so we ended up doing their underwater swims with floaties! They made it 38 feet with those floaties on and got a great lesson on buoyancy and effort:)

Now that I had shifted into creative mode, I started thinking about some fun things my coach used to do with our training during college. Rick Demont was always cutting edge, thinking of creative and new ways to stay on top of the game while keeping us focused and motivated. One of my favorite drills was what we called Partner Pull. This is done with 2 swimmers, one being the arms while the other is the feet. The rear person holds one foot and provides the propulsion from behind while the front person pulls the water with their stroke . We had a lot fun, especially coming into walls and doing flip turns while staying connected. Needless to say, we got quiet good at it and if they had a Partner Pull Olympics, my partner Shannon and I would be Gold Medal champions.

So I had the kids do some partner pull in class (remember they are already Gold ribbon swimmers), and it was a hit. It helped me see who is strong or weak in pulling or kicking. The best part of partner pull is the push off the wall and the finish into the wall. Each partner can provide either fast momentum or a fast pul in with their legs.

After this, I thought of when Rick Demont would help us get better at our racing dives. He would put a bungee cord around our waist and stand behind us, pull back slightly so we had to resist forward. Then we would launch off with lots of effort working against the pull of the bungee. Afterwards, he would take the bungee off, and we would do a racing dive and we would shoot off that block like a bullet out of a gun. I thought of how I could apply this to my students but didn't have a bungee band. So I improvised with the rope from the lifesaver hanging up on the wall. I put it around the kids waist kind of like reigns on a horse and slightly pulled back. When I sent them off on their dive, I had to let go completely but they got the idea of resisting forward against the pull back of the rope. By now class was over but we were having so much fun!

It's nice for me to break out of my mold and structure and 'go with the flow'. I am even applying this to my everyday life. And thank you Jonathan for your inspiration!

Book Review, Raising Resilient Children

2011-06-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Raising resilient children sure sounds great. In fact the preface to this book defines the resilient mindset as the ability to cope with and overcome adversity. This of course should be an essential component in all children. However this book simply echoe'd to me the theme of the 80's and the "self esteem" movement.

When I think of children who need to be resilient, I think of children growing up without food and water, with abuse or in Europe during WWII. These would be extreme examples of course but this is my starting off point. Here in America, we have food, running water and medical care. However many kids are abused, neglected, struggling through their parents divorce or simply struggling with growing up. While reading this book it was clear that the author's "large volume of research" consisted of their own clinical and private practice. They were not talking about children in Juvenile Hall but everyday children dealing with everyday social, school and family issues.

At first glance this book might sound great. I want my child to be resilient and to be able to overcome adversity. But with further reading, it does not address how to truly raise a child who can overcome "adversity". It sounded to me like how to raise a child who will expect a softened world and everything will be catered to him. A kind of how to avoid adversity in a sense. I got the sense of hand holding being promoted here.

Let's go back to the 80's mantra of beefing up every child's 'self esteem'. This backfired and contributed to a generation of children who couldn't do anything on their own, cope and have been labelled "entitled". Key points in Raising Resilient Children include: Being empathetic, Communicating effectively, listening actively, accepting your children, help them experience success, and disciplining to promote self worth.

I'm going to be bold enough to say while these sound great, they are impractical. How are these points going to help my child deal with job loss as an adult or even job evaluation? How are these points going to help my children deal with difficult people if they have always been raised with a soft hand and too much encouragement ? My husband and I are raising our 5 children to serve others, giving up their own wants for the happiness of others. We train them to obey us first and understand later. Which of these will help them get and hold down a job or serve their spouses in marriage? Does giving up your wants and learning to serve others help you to be resilient? I believe so. Being unselfish and not expecting every option in life to be a choice will certainly teach a child how to deal with adversity more than always expecting positive feel good outcomes.

The authors are anti-spanking, anti time out and pro logical consequences. This makes me conclude the advice in this book is directed to parents of school age children up through high school. Of course you can't spank older children yet you can't use logical consequences for toddlers. It is confusing to follow the advice these two psychiatrists put forth. I found myself wondering if these two men have children of their own and just how 'resilient' they turned out to be.

So to my readers, I would suggest reading a parenting book a little saltier than this one. Perhaps something by John Rosemond. he is one of my favorites!

Race to Nowhere

2011-03-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

Race to Nowhere

by Irene Madrid

I recently attended a documentary film sponsored by the Burlingame Mother’s Club.

A bay area mother of three created this film because, as her children progressed in school, the homework, organized sports, and community activities took over their lives.

She noticed that family dinners were becoming rare and most interactions were related to questions about homework when the kids were home.

The children developed headaches, stomach pains and were often sleep deprived. Most horrifying of all, a beautiful 13 year old neighbor girl had committed suicide. Her parents said she showed no signs of problems. Her life was filled with piano and violin lessons, and much homework. She was always “doing”.

Many high school students were interviewed and it was evident these super achieving kids were highly stressed. They were plugged in for success but childhood happiness was severely lacking.

The admissions director of Cal-Berkeley noted that these high achievers were often in need of remedial English and Math. Kids studied to the test and quickly forgot what the information was all about.

One high school teacher pointed out that many European test scores were higher than ours but did less homework. Often teachers, filled with the joy of teaching, gave up after several years because they were simply teaching to the test.

Creative thinking and problem solving have no place in such a goal oriented system. Children don’t appreciate the joy of learning. Education becomes a product.

The difficulty of a materialistic culture is a daunting challenge. It will take time for parents and educators to make healthier changes. One solution is to limit homework to one or two days a week, and no homework on weekends or holidays. Another is to insist extra curricular activities be limited and work around the family dinner hour.

It will be a concrete effort but much more balanced for health and happiness in our children. As parents, keep vigilant about after school demands and join with others to save our children’s childhoods.

Kicking and Screaming

2011-02-17T15:41:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Teacher Shannon and I have been working at our Half Moon Bay location for almost 15 years now, observing and swimming with many children. I have enjoyed every second of it and love to watch how children evolve over time in their experiences at our school. One of my favorite things to do is to help a fearful child learn to love the water. In doing this, there is always that fine line of knowing how much to push and when to hold them and give them that loving hug. I learned from Irene that children are a "different kid" each day as they are growing and navigating through their childhood. With this, I have also learned that parents do know their kid best.

My husband and I have one daughter, Ellie, who will be 13 years old at the end of this month. Ellie has been involved in after school sports and has been out of the pool for almost a year. We had a deal that once basketball season ended, she would head back to the pool and join the swim team again. Well...as Irene says, "They are a different kid each day", and I learned that it still applies to 12 year olds. When the day came for Ellie to head back to the outdoor pool in the middle of January (I am not that mean, the pool is heated), she was a different kid! She did not want to go and had every excuse in the book.

I asked the people in my life that love to swim for their opinions. I got all sorts of answers from "Don't push her" to "Make her do it"! I had to sit and think about my next step...Do I make her do it because as a teacher and a mom, I know all the health benefits of swimming? I know that the year she swam year-round she never caught pneumonia, which was usually a yearly illness of her's, (Ellie was born premature and her pediatrician has always recommended swimming to strengthen her lungs).

Well, I had to sit and take my own advice, "You know her best". Anytime Ellie wants to start something new, she can be slow to warm up or have fears until she actually does it. As a parent, knowing where that fine line is from pushing too hard and challenging your children to do things that they are not wanting to do, can be hard to see. I had flashes of my husband and I "making" her go down the water slide, kicking and screaming, only to have her come up with a huge smile asking to do it again. Or the time we "made" her get on Tower of Terror in Disneyland, scared out of her whits, and afterward we had to ride it six times in a row, she loved it so much!

So, as you can guess, although Ellie didn't want to go to swim team practice, the girl that got out of the car not wanting to go, was the happy kid swimming a beautiful freestyle ten minutes later. I know my child...but she can be a different kid every day .

Coldest winter ever spent

2010-08-16T17:06:00.000-07:00

Mark Twain once quoted: "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." And I can certainly understand where he was coming from. A native coastal California girl, I grew up here in Half Moon Bay. Familiar with the famous San Francisco summer chill and fog. I can almost predict what time of day the sun will "appear" and the fog will roll out and when it will return. Boy has this summer been a cool one. Parents I know all over the peninsula are on the search for some heat and sun. Even the usual hot spots like Redwood City and Palo Alto have had some cool days this summer.

Many families are taking off into the mountains. So many of my friends have had lovely vacations in Tahoe and all over the Sierras. We spent a week at Mount Hermon Family Camp in the hills above Santa Cruz and while the sun would come out, I was glad to have brought our fleece jackets. I'm from Half Moon Bay, we don't go anywhere without our fleece jackets:)

So while this summer comes to a close (many schools are starting next week), I am looking forward to our famously beautiful fall weather here on the peninsula. While the smell of the cold foggy air is so refreshing, the sunny crisp fall air is something to look forward to.

I'm going to close this blog with this article that I thought was interesting. I don'y have teenagers yet but enjoy learning and looking forward to the challenge of parenting teens. I hear it's tougher than when they are little. Phew, I'm gearing up for a shift in

Liesl

2010-06-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

Last entry I mentioned the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. While this book has been a tremendous blessing in my marriage and relationships, it has also helped my understanding of my children. Gary Chapman has also written a book The Five Love Languages of Children to compliment and extend his love language message. There are 5 “Love Languages” that people fit with. These are; Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts. I strongly recommend reading the original book to fully understand what these mean and learn which love language speaks to you clearest but also to learn your spouse’s love language and begin speaking it!

My husband and I frequently discuss our love language with each other, make it clear if our needs are being met and how we can improve. A few times a week we ask how our “love tank” is doing and what we can do to fill it up for one another. It sometimes is hard work! For example, my husband’s top 2 love languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Words of Affirmation don’t come easily to me. It is not always what I am saying but how I am saying it that is not meeting his needs. So I am working on my tone and delivery when talking to him so that he feels loved. The second, Physical Touch, does not just apply to sex but to being near, cuddling, hugs, frequent caresses throughout the day, etc. He physically needs the connection. I am learning to slow down and give him my time. I tend to wake up and hit the ground running, whizzing by him all morning. He needs me to stop, hug and put my head on his shoulder for a few moments. For me, my two top love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I just want to be with the people I love, spending time with them makes me feel loved. And when my husband unloads the dishwasher and puts the laundry away! Phew, my love tank is full:)

When looking at and applying the love languages to our children, it’s a little trickier. While it is important to speak all 5 of the love languages to the ones we love, we tend to speak our own love language to them first. I am busy cleaning the house and doing things to help my husband. I’m thinking I am expressing love to him when he would prefer me to just sit and hug him. So knowing and keeping an eye on which love language we speak, can help clue us in on what love language our kids speak. It also gets easier as they get older. My 3 year old I haven’t quite figured out but my older 7 and 9 year olds I think I have an idea. A little detective work goes into finding our child’s primary love language. For example, my daughter is always asking us to tickle her, eat her, rough house with her. She loves nothing more than a massage with oil and everything! Hers might be physical touch. My son is always in out face wanting to be involved with everything. His is Quality time. Funny how they adopt some of their parents love languages. Could it be genetic?

Finding out your child’s primary love language will take time, even years. Kids are hard to read and they will soak up all of the love languages. This book gives you tools to help you discover which love language is your child’s. Knowing how to speak love to your spouse, friends and children is like an open door to their heart. I want my kids to know more than anything that I love them. I want them to feel it every day. But what tells my oldest I love him might not work with my youngest. I am a sleuth, figuring out how to speak different love languages to those I love. These books have been a blessing in my marriage and also with my children. I highly recommend reading them both!

Marriage Advice to a New Bride

2010-05-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

Marriage Advice

This weekend I went to a girlfriend's bridal shower. Her mother was asking around the room for advice to give to her for her marriage. Some of the advice the women said were, “Do what makes you happy” and “Do what feels right”. All the women nodded except me. I didn’t agree. So I told the bride I would e-mail her my “advice” since what I wanted to say didn’t seem like it would be very popular.

To preface, I have only been married for 10 years this year. But my husband and I are more in love and feel so much closer each year. So here is the letter I sent to her:

HI K,

This is for both you and R, so feel free to share with him. My advice is actually the opposite of what 2 of the people at your shower said (doing what makes you happy). I also want you to know that Ugur and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage this year and we are more in love and closer than we can imagine plus a 5th baby on the way. Our marriage also centers around our faith. I can't see how marriage can be fulfilling and successful without Christ at the center.

Marriage is NOT about doing what "feels" right or what makes you happy. No where does life promise you that. Marriage is about being un-selfish! Serving each other expecting nothing in return. There will be times, seasons or even years where one of you might be pulling more weight, doing more, feeling run down. You cannot be thinking about "what makes YOU happy" in times like this. You must serve out of love.

Find your husband's "love language", read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This can help A LOT in what makes your spouse feel loved. For example, my top 2 love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. Ugur's are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Highly recommend the book!

Most men need more sex than women:) Sometimes it's an act of service to "just do it" when you are tired, etc. This might apply more as you guys get older and have kids, etc. But sometimes it's like going to the gym, you don't feel like going, you know it's good for you and you always feel better afterwards:) I know this might not make sense in your 20's and as a newlywed. Sex is important for men, I try to be "available" when I know he's been making little lovemaking comments to me or noticing my body. I think to myself, " I need to make sure I am rested and make a time to have a make out session in the next 24 hours". So yes, scheduling it in works too.

Marriage is growing, changing and learning about each other. How you communicate is very important and it might change through the years. Try not to bring up the past, families of origin (although they affect our communication style) when arguing.

Be humble and make positive assumptions.

Phew, that's all for now. You 2 should read this together and digest it:) Enjoy that Atlas. i got one for my wedding and it was one of my favorite gifts.

Love

Liesl

I was first going to blog about the book The 5 Love Languages but then decided to also share this letter too. I also want women reading this to know my advice is simply mine and comes from a loving marriage. My advice does not apply in unhealthy or abusive relationships. The bride is also someone I am very close with and can share intimate details and advice. Of course now I’m sharing it all with you!

Remember, your marriage is the BEST gift you can give your children.

Summer Fun and Field trips

2010-05-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last Friday my family went on a fun field trip to Roaring Camp Railroad in Fenton, up in the hills of Santa Cruz. We go at least once a year and take the steam train up one of the steepest grades a train can go up.

The steam train, named Dixiana, was built the same year as the Titanic. I love hearing the history of the forest and how it became protected, the logging industry, train trivia, and about different adventures back in the "olden days". My kids however are just in awe of the LOUD whistle. While we go up into the redwood trees, the air cools off, the fresh smell of mountain air wafts through your nose. It is so lovely.

As summer is getting closer, my family and I plan lots of outings and field trips to keep us busy and tire out the kids. Here's a list and short re-cap of some of the summer things we like to do:

Gilroy Gardens (formerly Bonfante Gardens) is like a mini Disneyland. Rides for small children, ride on cars that are amazing, California produce themed rides. This park is very clean, nice bathrooms. There is a water play area for kids to run around but remember water shoes, they are required.

Happy Hollow in San Jose. Recently updated, this park is designed for kids under age 8. The rides are for smaller kids. There is also a nice little zoo. This is a fun favorite.

Fairyland in Oakland For you East Bay parents, you might have pictures of your own parents here. My mom went here when she was little. A little Old School but fun non the less.

Phipps Ranch in Pescadero for Berry picking. 30 minutes south of Half moon Bay, pick your own ollaliberries, strawberries, raspberries. They have a small farm with animals and flowers. Picnic table to eat lunch.

Rin Canada Pool in Palo Alto. City run, cheap to get in. Warm, bring your own food, large flower shaped kiddie pool. A favorite of Coastside moms who want to get in the sun during the summer.

Beach. We prefer Roosevelt beach here in HMB. It's safer for the kids. Neighborhood parking. Must be warm out though and bring baby powder to apply on the kids so the sand runs off before getting back into your car. Chrissy Field beach in SF is also a great kid appropriate beach.

Golden Gate Park, Japanese Tea Garden. More outside fun plus add in history!

Of course these are only a few of the outings we go on during the summer. There are lots more. All you blog readers out there, please share some of your favorite summer outings!

2010-04-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

This weeks book review is so powerful and informative! Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D. was such an eye opening book. It felt like I was waking up in the morning with a fresh bucket of water thrown in my face. The information that is given to us is so important. I feel like handing this book out to all parents of boys and telling them it’s required reading.

Dr Sax, himself a father of 1 girl, has devoted his life to helping boys beat the ADHD stigma and growth and maturation difficulties that face our sons today. He touches in his book, in deep detail, his clinical experience with how culture, society, parenting, schooling and even environmental factors are weighing heavily and affecting our boys.

He discusses:

Teaching methods and how our schools today are geared towards girls who can sit and do workbooks. Our schools fail so many boys with the emphasis on testing and grades. He finds boys often need camaraderie and competition. Completely taken out of schools today, games where there is a loser or which honors the physically strong. But also even in the classroom, making scholarly competition healthy. He says some boys, who otherwise would be labelled and diagnosed ADHD and medicated, simply can thrive by being put in an all boys Elementary School. These schools can focus on boys needs and learning curves better than co-ed. He goes on to touch on the detrimental affects of prescription drugs that are often diagnosed to boys who are simply being boys.

The detriment video games and chronicles how they really do fry your brain. But more importantly they are affecting a boy or a young man’s connection to reality. The reality of working, supporting a family, what really is success, etc. This break with reality is rolling over in to generation Y. A whole chapter is devoted to talking about young men who still live at home and don’t work, living off their parents. The typical “failure to launch” story. That chapter really made me sick because I see it so much today.

Environmental toxins are discussed as a possibility to why men today are being feminized physically. While not the only factor, he points out and makes some connections to how a males genes are easier to mutate. He makes a good case for keeping plastics with bisphenol A and phthalates out of your family’s diet. Although mainstream stores now carry most bottles, pacifiers, water bottles without BHA now, it’s still important to see the reasoning behind this shift. He talks about changes in puberty levels, boys fragility, obesity, birth defects and sexual androgyny.

Although I am consolidating the information here, I say this book is required reading for all parents of boys. I think dads especially can benefit from reading this book. It teaches you to take a step back and look at how your life, society and culture are affecting your son. But it also lets you know you can do something about it. For example your schooling options or video game decisions. I only wish society would value and support masculinity in it’s traditional sense. This books makes a good case to why we need to get that back for our boys!

Guest writer, Karen O'Connor

2010-03-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Today's entry is from guest writer Karen O'Connor, LPB Site Director in Half Moon Bay. Enjoy!

My name is Karen O’Connor and I want to share my La Petite Baleen story with you. I am the mother of four children, ages 14, 16, 18 and 20. I have a degree in elementary education, with a minor in early childhood education. Before I had children, I taught pre-school, first grade, ran children’s programs at a country club and ran children’s programs with the city of San Mateo.

When my first child was born, I decided to stay at home. By the time, my fourth child was born; I knew I needed to work. I brought my children to swim lessons at the Half Moon Bay La Petite Baleen and loved the toddler classes. Once I “graduated” from the pool, I would sit by the pool for many hours watching!

A certain staff member approached me every week about becoming a swim teacher. I insisted I could not do it and thanked her every week for thinking of me! This went on for months until I caved. I did want to start working and I do love children and I do love the water. Why not?

I was quickly put “into training” and found out I could do it and actually was pretty good! When my training ended, I took over one evening swim shift and one Saturday swim shift. What a perfect job, I realized. My children were home with Dad and I did not have to worry about childcare, dinner, or bedtime. I loved my shifts and all the kids I taught. Three and half hours away from my family was perfect and the paycheck was just what we needed. Teaching was very rewarding and seeing the weekly progress of the students was so worth the time.

As my children got older, and entered school, I then had daytime hours available. I took on a morning shift and was asked to add more hours as a “deck supervisor”. Once again, I was unsure but thought about how this was perfect! My kids didn’t need me as much and my work did! Wow, it turned out to be a great match for all of us.

And, as we all know, our children keep growing and need “less” of our time but more “money for sports, dances, clothes and activities”. I was really enjoying my job and now had even more time to work. I felt like I was making a difference in children’s lives and also felt like I was helping other staff members become better teachers. It was a very good fit for my family and my career. Much to my surprise, I was asked to become a part time site director of the Half Moon Bay School. It was an honor and I was ready for the challenge. I had my family supporting me every step of the way and I realized I really liked the balance of teaching and managing.

My job here continues to grow. I am the sole site director now as well as the manager of our booking staff and have been working here for 14 years. Forty hours a week does not seem like a lot at this point. I look back on the journey and realize how many people I have worked with and how many families I have met and seen grow throughout the years. The staff here is awesome and each day brings new challenges and rewards. I feel very fortunate to work on the coast and still have time to be there for my high schoolers. Three of my own children are now employed with us and there are even more “La Petite Baleen” stories to share at home. Just last night we laughed at my daughter’s story about her “all white class”! (white ribbons that is!)

I urge any Mom or Dad out there, who loves children, loves the water and loves making a difference in a child’s life, to pick up an application. We offer an excellent training program and are here to support you along the way to becoming an excellent teacher. We also often have office hours available, if you are afraid to make the plunge in the pool. My hope is you will read this and reconsider that “part time job”. La Petite Baleen may be the Match for you. It has certainly been a great match for me!

Vacation

2010-03-11T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well everyone, we are back from our vacation in Maui. My husband and I went with our 4 kids, my parents and my sister and her family for our annual family vacation. Last year it was Disneyland, this year Maui.

I am so glad we chose March to go! Let me list the reasons why:

It's whale time. Whales breaching and blowing everywhere. Babies and their mommies swimming together yards from our beach. Even the kids could see them.

Only a 2 hour time difference. In the winter, before daylight savings, our kids only have to adjust 2 hours as opposed to 3 hours during the summer. For those of us with kids, we know the value of that!

Nice break in the middle of winter. The day we left, it was pouring rain here. We arrived to a sunny sweet smelling island. Although it's winter in Maui too, we got by with a light fleece jacket in the mornings and evenings. Sometimes it's windy or could rain but we lucked out.

Flights are cheaper. We flew Hawaiian Airlines and flew out of Oakland. Our tickets were $200 cheaper than United (each ticket). Hawaiian Airlines boasts to be America's oldest and safest airline. But the clincher for me was that they still serve hot meals that are all natural and delicious! As a parent you know what that means on a flight with 4 kids.

Of course every time we go on vacation and the kids are swimming we get a lot of comments about what great swimmers they are. Our kids are walking advertisements. As we chat with other parents at the pool, we always meet people we know or have friends in common. This time, I noticed a little girl who swam just as good as my kids. She was probably 4. I marveled to the mom about her daughter's swim skills. Come to find out, she has swam at Silver Bear Swim School, in Reno, since she was 6 months old. My sister's best friend, Katie Hall, owns and operates that swim school. It was nice to pass on to our friend Katie she has great little swimmers coming out of her school too.

My 8 year old son even took an introductory scuba class in a pool! His instructor exclaimed, "Wow, he really knows how to kick well. He's very comfortable in the water." I just nodded and casually mentioned that we are swimmers:)

So parents, if it's financially possible to take a vacation in the middle of winter, your kids will thank you and put to use those swim skills they are learning. My kids were in the pool for hours, only getting out to eat. We came back home tanned and feeling like we had a true break!

Book reviews

2010-02-11T20:19:00.000-08:00

I LOVE to read! And parenting is one of my passions as well as what my degree is in. I have a degree in Child Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. But besides the academic credentials, I've been married for 10 years this year and have 4 kids ages 1, 3, 6 and 8. I hope this qualifies me to lend my professional and experiential "opinion".

So, that being said, I will be doing some more book reviews and recommendations. So this week here it is.

Free Range Kids

by Lenore Skenazy

The author was labelled, "America's Worst Mom," by TV and news critics for letting her 9 year old son ride the subway in New York City alone with out even a cell phone! Only some change for a phone call if needed. They spent time studying subway maps, she judged her sons maturity and they live and ride the subway every day. Her son was fine and she goes on to write this book about the fear that is affecting parenting today.

Backed up with statistics, she defends herself and makes the case that today is safer than ever. We should let the kids play outside alone, ride their bikes to the store and even ride the subway alone. I have to say, reading this book was so refreshing, her NY humor is snarky, which makes me laugh. She makes fun of those parents that buy their kids crawling knee pads. Like God didn't make babies to rough up their knees on our hardwood floors.

What strikes me the most with the fear in most parents today is how unfounded it is. The statistics should be enough to make us feel better. I often find myself telling friends and moms at the park, "Well what were we doing at their age?" They usually pause and say, "Yah, your right." Even though their tone says they aren't buying it. Let's remember our kids need experiences and freedom to fall from trees.

For those of you who are finding it hard to let your kids ride their bikes around the block or play outside alone, I highly recommend this book!

Home School

2010-01-28T15:30:00.000-08:00

Well I just signed my 2 older kids, age 8 and 6 up for a writing class and speech class at a homeschool co-op. It is amazing how mainstream homeschooling is now!

Currently I am homeschooling my daughter 6, in 1st grade and my son 8, in 3rd grade. While my son started out in public school, we felt like homeschooling would work best for our family. It is nice knowing there are so many options out there. Private, Public, Charter, Homeschool. You know what is best for your children and choose their schooling career on your research. It starts when they are still in pre-school. The worry and decision making of where they should go to school when they are 5.

I used to be one of those moms that said, "Oh, bless those moms who homeschool, I could NEVER do that!"

Of course God just loves it when I say "never" and my husband and I felt called to homeschool. Wanting to spend more time with them while they are so young was the biggest pull. We adore our children and love being with them. So this works for us since my husband has a flexible job and I work part time at LPB.

I spent a good 9 months researching learning styles, my teaching style and curriculum. Boy is there a lot of curriculum! Thanks to the internet, everything is at your fingertips. In California, you can homeschool in 3 ways: Through a Charter or Independent Study Program at a private or public school, such as Ocean grove Charter School (which LPB is a now a vendor), hiring a teacher or tudor, or filing a private school affidavit considering yourself a private school. The latter is the least restricted with regard to rules (you choose any curriculum, you're responsible for attendance records). But the ease of homeschooling through an ISP or Charter can be both much cheaper and organized for those looking for the structure of having an overseer helping you.

After joining a local homeschool group, my eyes were opened to the many activities planned. Anything from field trips, testing, co-ops, teachers nights out, clubs, curriculum classifieds, speakers and even school pictures. Last Friday we went ice-skating with our homeschool group.

I write this post about homeschooling because many people are curious and are considering homeschooling but don't know where to start. I am here for any advice or questions. I can also share with you what avenue we took to this point, what curriculum we use or just trick of the trade.

Whatever you decide to do with the schooling of your kids, make sure it is right in your heart. I went to both public and private schools and felt prepared for the real working world. But what goes on in the home, your parenting and marriage, are what influence your children the most! At least until they are teenagers...but I'm not there yet:) I would have loved to have been home schooled.

Stuck inside?

2010-01-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here writing this while the wind and rain rip through the Bay Area. This kind of storm is unusual for where we live. We are not used to being stuck indoors, power outages or even flooding that keeps us from getting where we need to go (like work!). Friends of mine are telling me that this storm has kept them and their husbands from getting to work by either traffic problems from flooding or power outages at work.

But hey, we live here in California so we can get outdoors with our kids. So what do we do with our kids when we are stuck inside with them while the rain and wind go crazy?

Both of my parents are teachers, founding La Petite Baleen Swim Schools. Growing up my parents were often finding learning opportunities with every day activities. My mom is very creative and would set up indoor tea parties on our blankies, put raisins, cookies, cheese in little tea trays and we would make tea.

But our family does have one indoor rainy art project that we profess to be ours: Crayon Art.

Crayon Art involves putting tin foil on a skillet on the stove. Warming it hot and drawing with crayons onto the foil while it melts. Of course this is a parental supervised project but oh the hours of fun! After they dry, they can be cut into shapes, made into Christmas ornaments. The swirl and mixture of melted colors can come out like a sunset. Or a pile of brown for the younger kids:)

Some other indoor rainy activities that don't involve TV?

Bake

Shaving cream play

Kids needlepoint

Card and board games

Long baths:)

etc.

Blog readers, please share some of your family indoor rainy day projects.

But even though I am "stuck" inside with 4 kids, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. They make me laugh, challenge me and change me. Try to remember these are the memories they will have of you when they get older. Love em, chew on em and kiss em with abandon!

New Year

2010-01-01T20:16:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! As a mom, I can't tell you the last time I stayed up till midnight. And this year was no different. But I am glad I live on the West coast and can watch the ball drop in New York. Call me crazy but I think all those people are crazy for being out there in the freezing cold super late at night. I wonder what the introvert/extrovert stats are out there?

I have been doing a lot of studying lately on introverts and extroverts and it is very interesting. One of the best books, The Introvert Advantage, was great. I highly recommend parents learn about themselves and then start looking for clues in their children about where they are on the spectrum of introversion and extroversion.

And to clarify, an introvert is not anti-social. It has to do with where you derive you energy from. Does being in large groups, going to parties and entertaining excite and energize you (kind of like the New Years late night celebration)? Does the thought of those things exhaust you? An introvert gets energy from more quiet, restful, refueling times.

I know that my oldest son, 8, is clearly an extrovert. When he was younger it was too hard to tell. But now that he shows interest and can be more in charge of what he likes to do, he is an attention lover and always ready for the next party. It energizes him, increasing his motions and excitement. Knowing that my husband and I are introverts, so far my next child who is 6 and even my 3 year old are introverts. They need to mellow out and calm down alone during the day. Of course they love parties but also need to get to the refuel station.

Do you know where you are on the spectrum? Your spouse? read about introverts and extroverts and start studying your kids. It helps you know how to parent them.

Until next time!

2009-12-17T14:48:00.001-08:00

Healthy Lungs! Last post I talked about staying healthy this winter and how swimming can help. Today I want to talk specifically about kids lungs. There seems to be a lot of asthma out there today. More than when we were kids. Is it because kids are more sedantary? More allergies leading to asthma?

There has been some concern about the chloramines in pools causing irritation in the lungs of asthmatics. However it has been my experience to the contrary. When I swam on the National Team, there was an unusual amount of swimmers on the team who had asthma. Why? Because their Doctors recommended swimming to strengthen their lungs. Tom Dolan, an Olympic Gold Medalist had one of the worst cases of asthma I'd ever seen. The team physician told him swimming saved his life.

Another story of swimming helping strengthen lungs. One of my best friends, had her daughter at only 28 weeks gestation. She was just over 2 lbs at birth. But, she was a fighter and survived. Because she was born so early, she had weak lungs, and if she got sick, it often led to pneumonia. The Doctor told her to start swim lessons. Her lungs grew stronger. But what really made a difference was when she started swim team when she was older. No more winters with the albuterol, inhalers and nebulizers. She rarely got sick let alone had pneumonia. It was thanks to swimming that she has grown so strong in her lungs.

So whether you child has asthma or not, swimming can make your lungs stronger and therefore making them healthier!

Keep this in mind this winter when the inevitable cold virus comes knocking on your door. Swimming will help make the lungs stronger and clear out their noses.

Is it H1N1?

2009-12-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

So all 4 of my kids had the H1N1 a few weeks ago. But how did I know it was the old swine flu? Well my Dr. told me it starts with a cough and then on to the high fever for a few days and could be accompanied with vomiting or "the runs". Each of my kids got one of those. But most importantly, the extreme soreness in the muscles after the fever is gone.

When my sturdy 90lb 8 year old son fell out of bed crying on the 4th day, he said he couldn't move, his legs and arms hurt so much. This is coming from a kid who dances, swims, skis and does triathlons. So for him to experience this kind of muscle soreness was very unusual. But, my pediatrician said the H1N1 is manifesting itself with this extreme soreness after the fever.

The flu also had the exact same trajectory with each kid. Slowly picking them off from oldest to youngest. Luckily I got some Tamiflu (an anti-viral drug) , for the younger 2 and they had milder cases.

Phew, we survived. But what about those of you who want the vaccine but can't get it or just don't want the vaccine? Do you stay inside all winter? You already know about the coughing in your elbow and washing your hands like crazy. But did you know that swimming is one of the safest things to do this winter? Exercising in warm water keeps your immune system strong. Chlorine kills germs! Although we use small amounts of chlorine, our Diotenatious Earth filters, UV light and salt water team up to have an extremely clean environment for our children. Sorry viruses, this environment is just not for you!

That being said, swimming in our 90 degree pool comes in real handy on those cold rainy days where the kids need to get out and run around. We all know that feeling, "should I take them to Sports Basement to run around"? "the mall"? Lots of families swim twice a week in the winter to make sure their kids are getting enough exercise. This in turn keeps their lungs strong through the winter....but that my friends is another post!

Introducing Myself! Liesl Taner

2009-11-19T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

I just want to let you all know that I will be taking over this blog. But after reading over my mom's (Lita Irene) posts, I hope I can have as much insight and knowledge pouring out of me. As you all know, La Petite Baleen (LPB) is a family business. My sister, Anya and I grew up teaching lessons and living in the pool (no joke, 5 hours a day!) I look forward to sharing stories of growing up, parenting, marriage, and faith.

I am happily married for almost 10 years and am the mother of 4 kiddos. Brooks 8, Channing 6, Vaughn 3, and Charis 1 (on Christmas Day!). I homeschool my older 2 kids as well as work part time at LPB teaching. I just LOVE teaching kids in the water! It's like a dance of love and understanding.

I'm going to keep this short. All 4 of my kids have had the H1N1 Flu this week as well as my bronchitis for the last 8 weeks. Healing is on my "to do" list. I want to have conversation with all of you who read this blog, a relationship. I love to hear your comments!

Parents' Bill of Rights

2009-11-02T10:25:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation of my last article. When that new baby comes home we fall in love with the little miracle and want everything to be perfect. Sometimes we set ourselves up for difficult times when we are not reminded that we also must be "parents", those people who help shape the potential of a life. We also forget we have needs and that by having some boundaries, we teach healthy boundaries to our children by the only real way.....modelling it.

1. Even though you are a parent, you have rights.

You have a right to a good night's sleep.

3. You have the right to:
a.a clean house
b.cooperation and courtesy

4.Loving your child is no excuse for accepting rude,violent inconsiderate behavior.

5. Make sure that your rights are respected. You cannot expect others, even your children, to respect your rights if you do not.

Happy Birthday to my newest grandchild, Tanner Madrid Hall, born this Oct. 29 at 8:49 p.m. ( He is number six! )

From Tots to Teens

2009-10-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

I've always thought and said that the toddler years are just a dress rehearsal for the "real thing": teenhood. So, together with your partner consider a solid policy of growing a child.

Here are "The Ten Beliefs" that are a quick ,healthy policy to follow. I used to give this to the parents of my high school students.

1.Family problems have roots and supports in the culture.

2.Parents are people too.

3.Parents' material and emotional resources are limited.

4.Parents and kids are not equal.

5.Blaming keeps people helpless.

6. Kids' behavior affects parents. Parents behavior affects kids.

7. Taking a stand precipitates a crisis.

8. From controlled crisis comes the possibility of positive change.

9. Families need to give and get support in their community in order to change.

The essence of family life is cooperation, not togetherness.

The next time I write I will give the rest of this material.

Hopefully, my newest grandson will be born by then. He will be my sixth grandchild. How fortunate am I?

Lita-Irene

Children and Movement

2009-10-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

My God daughter Haley Cope Clark, 2004 Olympian and new owner of Water Sprites swim school in Chico, recently sent me some interesting information. She put her young son in a dance class called "Brain Dance". They have a great web site listing the benefits of their dance classes (www.creativedance.org).

It made me think about just some of the incredible benefits to swim lessons...

A baby's first breath starts brain connections and synapses immediately. Breath is the first and last thing we will do in our lives. Swimming creates the best opportunity to develop lung capacity and breath control.

Tactile stimulation in water is wonderful for babies. Skin is the largest organ in the body. Water lapping the the skin, especially in babies moving through water, creates the most development of synapses in the brain.

Swimming of course is not a land activity. Balancing and buoyancy in water takes more effort and yet, water gently cradles the body. Soft tissue is protected just like it was in the womb.

As babies become toddlers and movement patterns become more organized, water acts like soft resistance, increasing strength in a safe way. Skin is the largest organ in our body so movement in the water is "felt" by the brain in a big way.

Crawling is a profound skill for young children. The oppositional patterns help create brain connections across the mid-line of the brain. This is the very kind of action that allows children to read from left to right. Dog paddle combines the best support for mammals (children) for rhythmic, healthy breathing. People find they use dog paddle variations in recreation far more than strokes.

Immune systems are enhanced by exercise and deep breathing (we are a society of shallow breathers). Both are essential for the mind, body, spirit. Children with asthma are greatly helped by the deeper breathing of swimming.

Of course, safety is an imperative. Children who swim and whose family receives safety information, especially during "Summer Safety Week" at La Petite Baleen, respect the water more. Their information keeps them from unsafe curiosity. Note: This is not true for a small period of time for toddlers who just love to swim. They must be diligently watched since they are so mobile and lack any judgment.

And, we cannot forget a basic element that all children (and grandparents) relish.....FUN!!! Swimming allows for creative movement. Where else can you float, be upside-down, or splash?

ABC & D of Nurturing Your Kids

2009-09-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

This Summer I went with my daughter Liesl and her family to Mt Hermon. While the kids all were having a blast with their counselors, we adults heard lectures. This one resonated with me and I wanted to share it with you.

There is a challenge of keeping the many areas of our kids' lives on the radar screen so that we can help guide them into becoming healthy adults in every possible way. Here is an easy way to remember the ABC & D approach to nurturing your kids.

A. Affirmation

An affirmed child is a secure and confident child. Most often, the difference between kids who make it and kids who don't is one caring adult. Even if you struggle with your teenager, believe in them! Most teens suffer from low self-esteem, and I almost always see this in cases where teens struggle with their parents. Kids with low self-esteem tend to become irresponsible. They make poor decisions socially, in regards to drugs and sexuality, and academically. Parents can make a huge difference in helping their teens to become responsible by affirming them, praising them and believing (even in the midst of struggle) in the person they can become.

B. Blameless Love

Kids are going to mess up at times--it's part of their 'job' description. When they do, they don't need to be condemned by their parents. Rather, they need to know they'll be loved and accepted (although they'll have to live with the consequences of their actions, of course!).

C. Connectedness

Kids need to feel connected to their parents. Your children regard your presence as a sign of caring and connectedness (even when they don't seem to do so!). You don't have to be present with your kids 24/7, but your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them.

D. Discipline

Clearly expressed expectations and consistent follow-through produce responsible kids. The purpose of parental discipline is to teach responsibility. Unfortunately, for many of us parents, our primary objective is evoking obedience instead. And, to be perfectly honest, most of us try to do the "discipline thing" when we're upset, tired or frustrated....really in no shape to do so. Okay--where do we start? For one thing, recognize that good parenting involves training our children in the areas of choices and consequences. Keep that promise in mind when you are sticking to your strategy and you won't be disappointed.

When it comes to molding your childrens' lives through discipline, our kids need us always to show respect, even in the midst of tension. We can disagree with our children and still be able to communicate.

~~Jim Burns Ph.D~~

Swimming Aids Asthma Symtoms In Children, Study Finds

2009-08-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

Research has shown that swimming aids asthma in children. The activity has been proven to be an effective non-pharmacological intervention for children and adolescents according to a study in " Respiration", published by Wiley-Blackwell.

" Unlike other sports, swimming is unlikely to provoke asthma attacks. In addition to improving asthma, swimming promotes normal physical and psychological development, such as increasing lung volume, developing good breathing techniques and improving general fitness, said lead author, Wang Jeng-Shing from the Taipei University.

He added," Not only is swimming an excellent form of exercise for children with asthma, the health benefits reaped continue to be observed for at least a year after the completion of the swimming program."

Wiley-Blackwell ( 2009, August 20 ) " Swimming Aids Asthma Symptoms In Children, Study Finds. Sciencedaily.

Quality Time....For Parents!

2009-08-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Here are several ways of making quality time for the marriage as well as helping children understand that Mom and Dad's relationship is numero uno. Single parents: These apply to you, too!

1. Don't allow children to interrupt your conversations. Make them wait their turn. preferably in another room. Say, "We'll let you know when we are finished talking." A child who simply "can't wait" probably needs five minutes of cool down time in his/her room.

2. Create a weekly "Parents' Night Out" and don't let anything except acts of God
interfere with the commitment. Every now and then, go off for a week end without the kids. They need to realize that the marriage is a separate and autonomous entity within the family with a life and needs of its own.

3. Put the children to bed early. Remember that your children's bedtime is for yor benefit. In other words, determine how much down time you need in the evening during which you have no child-rearing responsibilities and set bedtimes accordingly. Eight is late enough for pre-schoolers, and eight thirty for grade-school age. Older children should be in their rooms no later than nine, particularly on school nights.

Once the kids are in bed, reduce distractions that interfere with communication and intimacy. Agree not to do either housework or office work after the kids' bedtime. Spend this time getting back in touch with the feelings that led to your original commitment. The worst possible and least creative thing you can do is get in the habit of centering your time together in the evenings around television.

From: "The New Parent Power"..Dr John Rosemond

Homework!

2009-08-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

When John and I started the swim school in 1979 we were both teaching public school. I had taken many child development classes in college too. So when we decided we would start our swim school, I already had a vision of something very different from anything else I had seen.

I had also carefully watched my three young babies swimming; I could see that other swim programs had "missed the boat" on how children learn. I grew up as a very young child with a swimming pool in the backyard, and four younger siblings that I was often responsible for. This all gave me a lot of strong ideas about children, water and learning.

In addition to the concept of an "aquatic classroom", other regular school institutions seemed to make sense to me. Homework was one of them. Children will repeat over and over a new skill and if it is fun and playful, all the better. I thought it was something parents and children could do together outside our 'classroom' to cement physical skills while enjoying each others company. A win-win scenario for sure!

Often our staff will give a homework suggestion if a child needs a boost. It's important to know that homework should be fun and companionable and any parent can look up homework suggestions on our website. The list includes ideas for each level of ribbon awards.

Some of these ideas can get your own creative juices flowing to make up more silly and fun games to stimulate swim skills. Being 'silly' with your child is a great way of staying young yourself, building bonds with your children.

Please ask deck staff if you don't understand the premise for these homework suggestions or, check in with deck staff if you have questions about your homework prowess. Doing the land exercises is good for your body too and I bet the kids love seeing you participate this way.

Have fun!

Lita-Irene

Cornucopia Kids

2009-07-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

It is entirely possible to remain an affluent, achieving parent and avoid raising Cornucopia Kids, but it takes a little know-how. Here are seven of the most commonly encountered parental vulnerabilities that lead to loss of parental power and untimately, the inability to parent effectiviely:

Dynamic #1: Giving as a way to avoid confrontation or rejection.
Dynamic #2: Giving "things" as a substitute for time.
Dynamic #3: Giving as a response to marital conflict.
Dynamic #4: Giving as a compensation for childhood deprivation.
Dynamic #5: Giving to compensate for puritanical parenting.
Dynamic#6: Giving as a response to community image needs.
Dynamic #7: To give is easier than to deny.

Certainly not all kids who grow up in middle-class families will become Cornucopia Kids. In fact, effective parenting , combined with the opportunity afforded by relative affluence can be a very positive effect on childrens' life skills. At all ages, Cornucopia Kids exhibit a pattern of behavior characteristics that together define this very maladaptive style of relating to work, to others and to life in general. Here are ten signs to look for.

Characterisitic #1: Your child demands only the best.
Characterisitic #2: A high need for constant stimulation is present.
Characterisitc #3: There is a consistent pattern of incompletion.
Characterisitc #4: There is a deep need for acceptance by others.
Characterisitc #5: The capacity for compassion is underdeveloped.
Characterisitc #6: A clear contempt for material things.
Characterisitc #7: Self-indulgences and excess are behavior themes.
Characterisitc #8: You see an all-to-easy deceitfulness.
Characterisitc #9: Problems with performance.
Characterisitc #10: There is a strong 'present' orientation.

No matter what their age, now is the time to begin Mastery Motivation in all your children. Healthy parenting values are perhaps the strongest possible way to do that. Here are 10 suggestions to help you instill Mastery Motivation in your children.

Motivator #1: Give your child regular work responsibilities.
Motivator #2: Refrain from giving your child so many 'freebies'.
Motivator #3: Severely limit television viewing, especially any violence.
Motivator #4: Give your child sensitivity training.
Motivator #5: Insist on completion as a personal value.
Motivator #6: Help your child deal adaptively with failure.
Motivator #7: Legitimize personal values over conformity.
Motivator #8: Make your child personally accountable.
Motivator #9: Engage your child in cooperative projects.
Motivator #10: Create clear boundaries for work.

"Character is destiny." As a responsible parent, it is your mandate to instill integrity instead of indulgence; to create character, not conformity; to build motivation rather than materialism; to demand sensitivity in lieu of selfishness. Through that process, you will grow in wisdom and your child will grow in maturity.

Bruce Baldwin, " Giving Children Too Much May be Giving Too Little"

From The National Institutes of Health

2009-07-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

Under the direction of the NIH, the National Institute of Child Health and Development, the findings concerning the debate on infant/child swim lessons in their update of March 2, 2009 were announced:

Providing very young children with swimming lessons appears to have a protective effect against drowning and does not increase childrens risk of drowning, reported researchers at the National Institutes of Health.

The researchers state that the findings should ease concerns among health professionals that giving swimming lessons to children from ages 1-4 years might indirectly increase drowning risk by making parents and caregivers less vigilant when children are near bodies of water.

"Swimming lessons are appropriate for consideration as part of a comprehensive drowning prevention strategy," said Duane Alexander, M.D., director of the Eunice Kennedy Shriver Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), the NIH Institute at which the study was conducted. "Because even the best swimmers can drown, swimming lessons are only one component of a comprehensive drowning prevention strategy that should include pool fencing, adult supervision, and training in cardiopulmonary resuscitation."

The findings appear in the March Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

My comments: This is the first extensive study done. One day the researchers may also include the safety factor of "Summer Safety" that many swim schools have in their curriculum. La Petite Baleen was one of the first in the nation to have such a curriculum. Since we have known for decades that a child's brain is developed for gross motor skills from before birth to four years old, and the best window of opportunity to easily teach a child swimming is at this time. It is wonderful to see the two pieces of information coincide...finally! So often we have had amazing stories of our own students who have used their swim skills wisely to keep a situation from turning sad.

Happy Splashing,

Lita-Irene

How To REALLY Love A Child

2009-06-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

Parenting is a huge slice of life: moments of joy, times of exhaustion, with everything else in between. All children follow a developmental journey that we need to understand and respect.

At La Petite Baleen we have a developmental curriculum, and it is a holistic view of children. Emotional growth is a major part of cognitive and physical growth. Some simple but elemental are incorporated so a child indeed develops all aspects of themselves in swim lessons.

Love and discipline are two sides of this coin. By creating boundaries (expectations of behavior while acknowledging feelings) your child becomes secure and happy. Knowing no matter how much he/she "loses it", we will always be a foundation and a secure haven to trust, while children explore, learn and grow in the right direction.

Children are not ready to be in charge of their choices. They are animals of action, not of adult words. The young brain is a huge ego and wants instant gratification on the outside. They need someone who can give directed, limited choices until they begin to show the ability to see how actions bring consequences. This starts happening around 7 years a of age.

Saying "NO" in a kind, firm way would be more loving than a reluctant yes or indecisive maybe. In practical terms, it is their job to test the limits while it is our job to guide them within limits. Following through with our words is crucial.

In the end, you will get through the teen years with much more grace...and end up being great adult friends.

Teaching Tools at La Petite Baleen

2009-05-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

We see our swim school as an aquatic classroom. As former classroom teachers, Irene and John Kolbisen know it takes many kinds of tools and aids to help a child understand a new skill.

We were also serious swimmers and took many tools and materials from other arenas, to "capture the imagination" of different children in the water.

Some tools are classics and fins are a perfect example. They help to elongate a child's kick, they slightly overload the leg muscles which make them stronger. They especially help a child 'feel' how the water pushes or flows with a kick. We don't use fins as a crutch, and children gradually get stronger and we gradually take the fins away.

Interestingly, advanced strokes go back and use the fins again. The fins again speed up the learning process and we remove them when a student gets to a certain level of confidence and ability. World class and collegiate swimmers use fins all the time to keep variety and strength training in mind (just ask our daughters Liesl and Anya who swam at U of A and Cal).

Fins, as well as other aids are simply a small support system through out the learning process.

Often parents don't realize the benefits of goggles. Try this little exercise: stand on one leg with your eyes open. Then, close your eyes and feel the difference. Our eyes give us a lot of balance.When children use goggles they have about 60% MORE balance as they can see better underwater. Swimming has as much to do with balance and breath control than it does with kicking and paddling. Goggles help children to find their balance in the water while allowing them to "treasure hunt" at the same time!

We have nose clips for some children who initially sniff water. This is something we really watch for. Getting water in the sinuses is not fun. We use the clip so there is a positive learning curve, much sooner.

I think we are the only swim school in the nation that uses the 'motorboat'. I bought it for my three kids as a trampoline but, being kids, they tossed it into the pool. I watched how creative and FUN it was. I also realized that going from up to down often gives babies a good clue for anticipating a breath hold. So sit jumps and motorboat have always been a part of our curriculum.

Within the swim school world we are famous for having such a variety of toys, mirrors, magic carpets, etc. to engage children. It looks colorful out on that pool deck...and happy, just like our swimmers!

(Lita) Irene

Summer Fun with Swimming

2009-05-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

Families that go on vacation around a river, lake, water park, sea shore, etc. may think their children will jump right in and are surprised when Red Ribbon Jack or even, Purple Ribbon Emma, do not show off their skills in this different water right away.

Take heart because there are simple, supportive ways for your tribe to quickly enjoy the long planned fun time.

Remember that children pick up on how this new water looks, feels and perhaps smells different. Maybe they can't see bottom, or it is cooler than they are used to. Crashing waves sound loud or try to get their toes. There may be currents that unsteady them or fish that they can see (I was a young swimmer but fish scared me...still do!)

Before arriving at your destination talk with the children about how the water will look and feel different from a swim lesson swimming pool. Find photos if possible so they have a visual. I remember taking our three kids to Russian River and sketching how the river turned, and how maybe the currents would give you a ride. We explained how to swim at an angle to flow with the water. They didn't need to go straight to shore, in exactly the spot they wanted. My daughter Liesl can tell you that story when she jumped out of our canoe at the age of 3!

Take the first 10 minutes after getting to the water to review what the children already know skill wise. The children, especially the younger ones, need time to assimilate all the stimuli. If you have been sensitive to their hesitation and they balk after a reasonable time, gently carry them or hold their hand firmly and get them one step further into the water, keeping a positive, playful voice and attitude.

Do the 10 minute review every day. You can ask for suggestions from your teacher or the deck support person too. They can give 'homework' for the kind of water you visit and skill levels of your kids (http://www.swimlpb.com/classes/homework.html).

Lastly, whatever water you are around, please assign someone to be the designated "water watcher". This means they have been given a tangible item (we use a bracelet of some kind) and it means they will not use a phone, engage in conversation, or be distracted in anyway. Their sole job is to keep watch over the little whales in the pool. We have used the bracelet idea for Disneyland too when the crowds are big and children can get lost in the shuffle.

Everyone enjoys the water much more when water skills are good and everyone is more relaxed when a safety system is in place. Now go out and have a wonderful swimming summer!

(Lita) Irene

Summer Reading

2009-05-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Some ‘old’ books are still good information. Here are a few ideas I have always appreciated because while times have changed, children are developmentally the same everywhere.

“Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman emphasizes that the happiest and most successful people are those who have the capacity to:

Ability to empathize

Capacity to delay gratification

Competence to contain or manage emotions

In one of my favorite authors of child-rearing, Dr. T Brazelton, observed that the difference between two outlooks (children who are confident and optimistic versus those who expect to fail) start to take shape in the first years of life. Dr Brazelton, says that ”parents need to help generate the confidence, the curiosity, the pleasure in learning and the UNDERSTANDING OF LIMITS (my caps) to help children succeed in life.

“Letters for Our Children”, edited by Erica Goode, gathered letters that adults wrote to children. These authors were parents, grandparents, step parents, friends and relatives. One in particular caught my attention........

“Dear Randy,

Soon you will leave home and go off to college. The successes that will come your way will be great fun. But the failures will be your most valuable lessons. How a person decides to handle failure has a great deal to do with everything else in his life. Some people deny that the failure was their fault. Refusing to accept consequences seems to be a national pastime.

You see Randy, successful people are successes because they know how to handle their failures. You must learn to handle failure too.

DON’T FLUNK FAILURE!

Your stepdad, Skipper”

Let’s help our children learn the same; face our fears, face our consequences and thrive .

Swimcerely, Irene

Eczema and Swimming?

2009-05-02T17:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Parents,

I have long had a theory that chlorinated water actually helps rashes and skin irritations rather than make them worse. I recently came across this article that seems to support this theory, and wanted to share it with you in case your child suffers from eczema and you are hesitant to allow them to swim:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/28/health/research/28regi.html

Perhaps we have even more to learn about the many benefits of swim lessons!

Best "Fishes",

Irene

Welcome to "Whale Wisdom"!

2009-04-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

The purpose of "Whale Wisdom is to share my 45 years of teaching children of all ages in the water. I often see parents confused but eager to help their children grow, learn and have wonderful experiences. Unfortunately, good intentions are misdirected when we try to have a child-based, NOT a family-based life.

Parents LOVE their children. Having a fair, secure and appropriate child development base is the best path for everyone; parents need support in creating this and I will share my observations with you. I have taught over 60,000 babies in my life (that is an accurate number!) and while times have changed, children have not. They need parents who have clarity, compassion and the sheer strength to follow through with timely discipline and consequently, enjoying their children even more.

Raising children is fun, tiring, creative, and much more. I will have some amazing stories, funny observations and commentary for you about La Petite Baleen as I go about my own days with the swim schools.

Happy Splashing,

Irene